The Polarized Postdoc

Karma muffins

with 2 comments

Hypothetically speaking, if one were to accidentally back into someone´s car´s door, and drive away in a hurry without leaving a note, and then some weeks later someone else would in turn back into your car´s door and scram (leisurely or hurriedly) without leaving a note, it must mean that the universe, using the active forces of karma, has just spun around enough to recover its equilibrium.

But rationally speaking, that universal balance cannot, possibly, be ever preserved still. The logic of supernatural forces implies that when you backed into someone´s car the first time, the owner probably deserved it somehow, and you were just a toy being brandished by karma´s hands. So the bad energy merely got transfered, or derived from good one. And so on, and so forth, ad infinitum, it follows that an endless chain of unfairness fuels the dynamic balance of the universe.

Whenever I start thinking like that my heart gets dizzy. I have to admit that I am not much of a believer. It´s not personal, you gods and goddesses and earth energies, it´s just that I have trouble with the idea of believing itself. Of choosing to accept instead of to proof, or discover. In absolute terms, though, a life of faith sounds much more relaxing than endlessly trying to answer all the “whys” and “hows” and wtfs” around you.

battering heights

battering heights

This weekend, as a mental vacation from worry, and to make up for some recent bad energy transfers, I decided to give karma a try, scientifically speaking. I always picture karma like a molding water mill wheel, Ignatius Reilly-style. So my premise is that if karma is some sort energy cycle, not created or destroyed but just transformed by human actions and consequences, it must be amenable to measurement. It has to have a quantifiable unit, kJs perhaps (karma-joules, not kilo joules, thank you).

And if we have our units, we can devise a system to calculate how many KJs are there in a hug, a kind salute, a ride to the airport. But as we don´t know either the exact parameters of the energy conversion reaction (is it exotermic? explosive? catalyzed?), save for that sometimes it includes a kinetic intermediary in the form of car crashes, we need to create good energy, from scratch. More accurately, from our very own chemical potential. AKA, the wheel of life.

top o´ the muffin

top o´ the muffin

To do so, and establish a proper standard that we can apply to daily life, I figured I could make a well-known vehicle of good energy, that comes already aliquoted in individual doses. So instead of worrying, I adapted a warm looking muffin recipe to my non-dairy, berry-crazy standards. Then proceeded to bake them and spread them amongst my friends and folks, who received different doses of the sugary vibes. Now, I plan to just sit back, hang out and observe how the good karma expands and extends from my oven, into the hostile world, perhaps in waves of good luck or strikes of love. If we apply some simple exponential amplification rules, it is likely that this experiment might keep me busy for a while. So for now, worrying will have to wait for the next wheel´s turn.

(Good) Karma Muffins

Procure:

-1/2 cup margarine

-1+1/4 cup granulated sugar

-1/2 tsp salt

-1+1/2 cup all-purpose flour

-1/2 cup cake flour (optional, you can use AP)

-2 large eggs

-2 heaping tsp baking powder

-1/2 cup soy milk

-1 tsp vanilla extract

-6 ounces each of raspberries, blackberries, and blueberries, fresh or unthawed, sprinkled with:

-1 tsp sugar

-1 tsp cinnamon

-1 oven at 385F

-1 hand mixer

Perform:

-Sift flour and baking powder together and set aside.

-Cream margarine, sugar and salt with until soft (one day we must discuss the scientific value of baking terms such as this, or “until just combined”, “fluffy” or “just moist”)

-Add eggs and beat until fluffy, to your best judgement.

-Pat berries dry on a paper owel.

-Into the liquid mixture, fold alternatively one thir of flour, one third of milk, repeat until just combined. Add vanilla.

-Sprinkle berries with sugar and cinnamon, fold into batter.

-Pour 1+1/2 tbs of batter into greased muffin cups. I always have trouble calculating how much to aliquot, and can never seem to avoid putting too much. This measure seems to produce some handsome, pointy doses of good energy to share.

-Incubate in the oven for 20 minutes, or until golden and dry according to the international toothpick standard.

-Cool for 10 minutes on a rack, invite friends over, have them with hot chocolate, and rate your muffinity according to the width of the smiles and volume of grunts elicited. Good luck, and good karma.

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Written by polarizedpostdoc

July 27, 2009 at 17:54

Posted in personal

Tagged with , , ,

2 Responses

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  1. Those muffins should be measured in Kilo-Karma Joules, they were that good!!! Now to go out and do something extra nice in hopes that I get to taste a second batch…

    Oliver

    July 27, 2009 at 21:29

  2. Those look delicious!

    Luis Munoz-Najar

    July 15, 2011 at 22:40


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